7 Experiences with child-raising in a polyamorous relationship

The more people there are who live polyamory not only as an episode but as a permanent way of life, the more important the question of child-raising in a polyamorous relationship becomes.

Louisa Leontiades on her experiences with child-raising in a polyamorous relationship

Well-known author Louisa Leontiades has written an article with very illuminating and stimulating insights from her experiences.  Here are some excerpts.

  1. I learned that parallel polyamory is not an option for me….I am not willing to spend much of that time away from my family, which means my partners have to spend nearly as much time together with each other, as I do with them. I’m looking to build and nurture an integrated family, as well as multiple relationships.

  2. I learned that my love for adults is conditional…Polyamory has also highlighted to me the fact that my love for my partners no matter how strong, is conditional. And that the condition is my kids’ health, wellbeing and safety.

  3. I learned that kids benefit from different role models who are not me… I once thought that my egalitarian vision of a loving and expansive life was the ‘right’ one and that I was bringing my children up the ‘right’ way, until I realised that even though what I want for my children above all is agency, my stubborn vision meant I wasn’t supporting their way enough.

  4. I learned that sometimes I need to be dishonest to protect my kids… (You better read the whole article for this one)

  5. I learned that one of the biggest impacts on a kid’s environment is stress……. Unstable and acrimonious relationships–monogamous or polyamorous–can be conducive to a level of stress known as toxic. At the same time some stress is needed for healthy development.

  6. I learned that sex-negativity was harmful to mothers and their children… (Please read the whole article for this one, as it is so perdsonal I couldn´t really get myself to make an excerpt).

  7. I learned what immense privilege I have, and now my kids know that too … We have race privilege, class privilege which enables a certain financial flexibility to choose. Right now we have chosen to live in Berlin, an accepting city full of diversity. I have not earned this privilege, and I recognise how it benefits me and my choices. It protects my kids. … I hope I would have become aware of my privilege anyway, but I do know that polyamory is what first brought my own privilege to my attention ten years ago.

7 Experiences with child-raising in a polyamorous relationship

Link to article 7 Things You Learn Raising in Kids in an Open Relationship

Polyamory and Children

In the article series Polyamory and Children on Polyamory Magazine you will find all articles about Polyamory and children.

Other articles about polyamory

This article series is part of the article series about Polyamory, where you will find all articles on this topic. They are subdivided into various sub-areas, for example:

Coming-out as a polyamorous
Polyamory - one woman and several men
Interviews about Polyamory

You can find articles here that I have found all over the world, some in German and even more often in English.

More information about Polyamory

In the section "What is Polyamory" you will find information about what Polyamory is, how Polyamory works, where you can meet other polyamorous people, as well as other topics, for example (all coming soon, translation is in progress):

  • Prejudices about Polyamory describes common prejudices about Polyamory and presents you with the scientifically documented reality
  • Polyamory Events and Meetings
  • Polyamory dating websites
  • Polyamory Science with results from research about Polyamory

Please feel free to send your suggestions, they are welcome

If you have any suggestions, please send them via the contact form. You can also write comments on each page.

Would you like to be a Guest Author?

Read about how to Become a Guest Author at Polyamory Magazine.


About Viktor Leberecht 418 Articles
Viktor Leberecht is my pseudonym for my work as a freelance author. I have a Master´s Degree (M.A.) in history, and I have had vocational training and many years of experience as a journalist. I have lived in a polyamorous relationship with a woman who is married to another man since 2003. I write about polyamory, to inform, refute prejudice, and to promote the social acceptance of polyamory. I am committed to multiple relations within the framework of human rights, which, of course, means the same rights for everybody.

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